Pursuit of Happiness

In my own words....

***
My hands been dealt, the stakes are high.
All eyes on me, both critical and kind.
All cards on the table, my intuition - numb.
I regain confidence as the King of Hearts is found.

Struggling with second thoughts,
its "all or none".
My heart already up for the gamble,
what other sacrifices am I willing to make?
Winner takes all, yes, but I must consider the cost.
My face matches the games' namesake,
my assurance trembles with uncertainty.
Will these expectations be matched?
Can I afford to pay the price asked of me?

This is life - it's a gamble - a blind bet.
Given the hand I'm dealt
I'm doing my best.
It's either "luck of the draw" or favored odds.
Nothing is certain or can be promised.
Perhaps, victory isn't only reliant on a good set
but on my decision regarding
pursuit of happiness.

A gambling addict can lose everything
and a reckless decisions can end in pain.
But, through the unpredictability
I hold evidence of truth in my hand;
the King of Hearts already won my bet.

And so, I gamble.
And so, I pray.
And so, I live
with no regret.

This Drifters' Revelation of a Heartbreak World

I used to have a home. A place I started from. A place to call my own. Bright lights and late nights, the devil took me on a midnight ride, left me out in the desert on my own. Now I feel alone. I need a hand to help me find my way back home. I'm a drifter out on a dead end road trying to find my way back home to get to you. Oh to get to you. Lord, I've been gone for far too long, headed to places I don't belong and I've got to get back home to you. Sometimes I think about the past and the road that I was on, the one that lead me home. I'll walk on another day, I may wander but I'll never stray, cause I found out the hard way sin don't pay. [CHORUS] and when I feel the night is closing in and I can barely breathe the air - I just remember that I've got a friend who really cares, Oh who really cares. I'm a drifter out on a dead end road trying to find my way back home to get to you. Oh to get to you. Lord I've been gone for far too long, headed to places I don't belong and I've got to get back home to You.
-- "Drifter" - Decemberadio

***

Let's all pack up and move this year. We'll slip the liars and disappear. We'll leave memories for auctioneers and those just standing still. They'll miss the taste of wanting you. Call out your name, like I still do. But they haven't said a word that's true and they only hold you down. In this heartbreak world of "just imagine". With it's tired talk of "better days". In this heartbreak world where nothing matters, come on let's make this dream that's barely half awake, come true. Let's move out of Los Angeles and just drive until this summer gives. And forget the lives we used to live, cause we're gone. [CHORUS]
-- "Heartbreak World" - Matt Nathanson

***

My life, has led me down the road that's so uncertain and now I am left alone and I am broken,
trying to find my way, trying to find the faith that's gone. This time, I know that you are holding all the answers. I'm tired of losing hope and taking chances on roads that never seem to be the ones that bring me home. Give me a revelation, show me what to do, 'cause I've been trying to find my way, I haven't got a clue. Tell me should I stay here, or do I need to move? Give me a revelation, I've got nothing without You. I've got nothing without You. My life, has led me down this path that's ever winding. Through every twist and turn I'm always finding that I am lost again (I am lost again). Tell me when this road will ever end! [CHORUS] I don't know where I can turn, tell me when will I learn? Won't You show me where I need to go? Oh oh Let me follow Your lead, I know that it's the only way that I can get back home. [CHORUS] Oh, give me a revelation... I've got nothing without You. I've got nothing without You.
-- "Revelation" - Third Day

Prez Day @ Bryant Park

Farah Angsana Couture Fall 2009 - Bryant Park Tent Show:

What a surreal experience. By the time I finally walked the runway for the very first time; all dressed to impress.... it was incredible. I actually remember thinking, "Wow, I am really doing this. I am really here - Bryant Park, New York Fashion Week." It was a moment. A moment to remember always.

American Idol Almuni & Country Music Star, Miss Kellie Pickler was front row ready to my show =) wearing sky-high stiletto's that made ME nervous!

I wish I was %100 for the experience. Unfortunately, mid-Sunday I was bed-ridden by an intense Migraine. It was miserable to go to the show Monday morning and rough being there, I had a cough and the migraine was progressively worsening. By the time I got home @ around 10am (show call time was 6am) I was shaking uncontrollably from fever. I've been in bed since - still in pain but I'm hoping the worst is over with. I just had some Chicken Noodle Soup... more like broth, carrots and a few pieces of chicken. Amazing how they get away with more carbs than protein? it IS called, "Chicken" then "Noodle" then "Soup" right? so how come the second listed ingredient (noodle) is about quadruple the amount of the first (chicken)? Grrr

Anyways, I'm popping pills and antibiotics. Sipping on some orange juice now. Not in the mood for food at all - but tough luck I guess. xoxo

Everybody stay healthy! Thank goodies you can't catch anything from my blog =)

"David after Dentist"

I just thought this was hysterically, hilarious... but then again, I laugh at tragedy lol

'tws the eve of Valentines

so many shots.... so many men.... so little time.... so not interesting to me. LOL

here's just a random video of last nights "excitement" next time ill try to get footage of the actual party.




*sigh* and tonight I'm working a party in midtown ... woohoo I'm SO excited =) (sarcasm anyone?)

xoxo wishing all my LoveBugs a blessed Valentines Day! Don't hate me 'cause I'm single =) I know you're jealous lol

My 25...

This should undoubtedly spark very interesting conversations! =) I look forward to them.

*** *** ***

In no particular order of value or significance; but, rather, how they come to mind:

1. My Lord is not small enough to be understood but is big enough to be worshiped. Jesus Christ has my heart.

2. Modeling is what I DO and is not to be confused with who I AM.

3. My greatest fear is failure and I'm not so sure how it is to be measured.

4. I'm not quite sure how to measure my success, either.

5. I am my toughest critic ...don't flatter yourself.

6. I misplaced my blackberry and experienced heart palpitations until it was recovered. Pathetic.

7. I don't like organized religion; my responsibility is my response to Christs' ability.

8. I haven't any quarrels with single life... however; I make no promises come February 14th!

9. My ultimate goals are to be a wife and mom. I think heroism is under/overqualified (dependent on ones' outlook). A wise young man said, "Heroes raise children."

10. If nothing else, fashion has taught me that true beauty has little to do with ones' waist/hip ratio, numbers on the scale, or dress size.

11. I'm not complicated. I'm a woman. There's a difference (?).

12. For your sake, don't underestimate me.

13. For my sake, don't overestimate me.

14. I will forgive you before I will forgive myself.

15. I prefer not to speak unless I have something of value to say; requiring you to listen.

16. I am in love. He has no idea... I hope.

17. My mom is my best friend.

18. My little sister is a better dancer than I could ever have dreamed to be myself and I, unabashedly, live vicariously through her talent. I am so proud of her.

19. I have an obsessive attraction to books.

20. When I have an itch... I scratch it (literally & metaphorically).

21. Music is my therapy. Perfection is my enemy.

22. I try too hard to be in control; I am unnecessarily reminded of this all too frequently by my ability to attract clumsy encounters with poles and ice-covered surfaces.

23. I consider myself a people person as a means of survival; tolerating the majority of humans by choice and convenience, practice and patience ...it's the feline in me.

24. I have a master(s) in business/sales - my father.

24 1/4. I have a secret I keep right under my nose =)

24 1/2. I was driving, got hit by a semi-truck and lived to tell about it (so did my car)!

24 3/4. I am Pro-Choice. I believe the choice is made 9 months prior to an estimated due-date.

25. Boys: don't test me - you really haven't a clue of what I am capable. I'm waiting for one man.

.... If you'd like to add something to the list, be my guest! Leave a comment - I'll be interested to see what you come up with about me =) or make it your own! Leave a comment with 25 randoms about YOU I'd love to know! xoxo

Love you all!

Steak to my Ribs

All week my girl Megan (also w/ Red) has been bunking with me at the apartment while the lovebirds are in California for a time - celebrating their 1 year anniversary, amongst other obligations! It has been so wonderful to have this little red-headed bundle of joy and energy around me all week - we are sad to see our time here end, but we have a plan to stay very closely connected in the near future!

SNOW STORM! We were out in it all day, running to and fro castings, together for the majority of the time - it is so much more enjoyable when you have someone to do these outings with. We "get" each other really well so that helps.

This being her last night at my place, we splurged a little on a real nice home cooked meal ... I had lots of fun at the grocery store as she was choosing a blockbuster vid. Its been awhile since I've actually been able to cook something! Here's a clip of snow + our mad Top Chef skills.

We were very pleased with ourselves =)

On a different note, an update on my current employment status: my services as a shot-girl have been extended to the owners' midtown location as well ... guaranteeing me a likely two-nights a week schedule (one in each location) I am also being trained for bar tending duty slowly but surely. The staff are great and I'm enjoying the monetary benefits - no track towards a private jet but it makes me feel financially productive. I'm hoping the MoneyMonkey will find someone else's back to latch onto!

Castings will continually pick up frequency as we grow closer to Fashion Week ... there are mixed opinions on this seasons' prospective success across the board, due to the flailing economy. Some major designers have pulled out even. It will be interesting.

There are many opportunities taking shape as I look ahead at this year ... I can see the time flying by! I am eager to see how God messes up my plans ... or keeps them, who knows! =)